wow, missing a gagillion days of school really can catch up with you. [as if i didn't know that]

we have yet another dance competition on saturday, this time i'm doing all four dances. kind of stressed. kind of scared.

lately i've been going to bed at 11, and waking up extremely tired. so i try to go to bed at 9, and i wake up just as tired. never win.

i really really don't like dance right now. i love dancing, i just don't like dance team i guess.
maybe i'm just not good. i have to learn to accept that. i get this vibe that the coach doesn't appreciate me like she does these other girls and it sucks. i wanted to cry so bad today. out of all the dances, i'm not featured in any of them. last year, i was like the star of one of them, and featured in the others. whatever, im so done. i'm just pissed because its another thing to add onto my imperfect senior year.


i got my one year letter back from mrs. carlson last year.
i had such a fun time, and to think that i don't have like 90 percent of those friends anymore sucks.
but then again, its probably the most refreshing thing to ever happen.



BTW, but how wonderful was it that Sean Penn won?
i love him, and i loved Milk.
i know, a conservative who loved Milk.
im probably the only one.





xoxo

i can't stop listening to Silver Springs by fleetwood mac.

i just got mad at my mom, told her '"im not even having this conversation"
and i ran upstairs


and now i feel bad because i really do love her, but when she does this to me its hard for me to be happy all the time.




i'm not going to college.